Embracing Failure

Our brains have a primal mechanism designed to protect us from danger. When we are faced with something scary or unknown this mechanism kicks in and tells us to run away or fight it. These days our need to run or fight are very few and far between, but this primal instinct is still there. When we are presented with something new or unknown our brain tries to protect us by creating thoughts of the worst-case scenario so that we try to talk ourselves out of venturing in to the unknown.

So what is the worst-case scenario? More often than not the worst-case scenario is that we fail. What is the definition of “failure”?

‘Failure: The omission of expected or required action.’

That doesn’t sound so bad now does it? So why do we build failure up like it’s the end of the world? It’s because we have associated failure with negative feelings such as shame and embarrassment. And because we are so afraid of feeling these feelings we hold ourselves back or never start at all.

Here’s the thing… your entire life has been a series of failures. Your very first attempt at walking was a failure. You tried to stand up and fell. Then you tried again and fell. With all that falling and picking yourself up your brain created new neural pathways and your muscles became strong enough to finally be able to stand. Then after falling a bunch more you were able to walk. Every time you failed, you got stronger and you learned how to do it better next time.

Every time you failed a test, you learned. Every patient who didn’t respond to treatment, you learned. Every meal you burned, you learned. Every mistake you ever made, you learned. And with each learning experience, you grew. So knowing that failure results in growth, why do we run away from it? When someone fails at something why do we feel bad for or even criticize them rather than celebrate them for having the courage to put themselves out there?

We need a cultural belief shift about failure. Instead of it being something to be ashamed of it should be considered a badge of honor. Because it means you actually tried and you’re now a better person for it.

This perspective has the potential to be life changing. As someone who has blown it all up and started over I know a thing or two about that fear and shame. And then coming out ok on the other side. This isn’t about being reckless. It’s about not holding yourself back from going for something unfamiliar because your’e afraid that you’re not ready, it’s not the perfect time, it’s impractical, or whatever obstacle you create to convince yourself out of making a leap.

“The only way of being found is getting lost at first.” - Ira Wolf

This is one of my favorite lyrics from one of my favorite artists. And I turn to it when I need a little bravery to do something new. It encapsulates the growth process perfectly. So today, I challenge you to do something that you have been wanting to do but have been putting off.