I’m Not Your Friend

I recently finished up a coaching series with a student and asked for her feedback on her coaching experience. She said “It wasn’t what I was expecting. It was actually better.” I asked what she was originally expecting and she said “I just thought you were going to tell me what to do.”

As a life coach my responsibility is to help you create your own independence and discipline and hold yourself accountable. My purpose is not to create dependency on me for the rest of your life. My goal is to teach you the skills to manage your own mind so that you can go out in the world and achieve long-term results. 

The type of coaching I do is “Causal Coaching”. Meaning I focus on the cause of your issues and not the symptoms. Sound familiar? 😉

For example, if you are balking on raising your rates I don’t just tell you to raise your rates and prescribe instructions on how to do that. I help you understand why you’re resisting raising your rates even though you have all the logical reasons for doing so. And I teach you how to solve for the resistance that is preventing you from growing your business. 

People often think that working with a coach means hiring someone else to prescribe actions to do, give advice, make judgements on their decisions, and be a cheerleader. That is not a coach. That is a friend. Friends listen to your problems, let you vent, tell you you’re awesome, then give advice of what you should do or not do. As a coach THIS IS NOT EFFECTIVE if you are looking for long-term change or results because your friend is prescribing what THEY would do and offering THEIR answers. While they obviously mean well, telling you what to do doesn’t hold the space for you to explore your own brain and uncover YOUR answers. It doesn’t actually serve you if you’re trying to make changes in your life. Because what they do and their reasons may not be authentically aligned with you. More importantly, getting the answers from someone else doesn’t help you develop the skill of trusting in yourself. I help you find what gets YOU going to take action that you feel good about. 

So if you’re looking for a friend to just tell you what to do, I am not that person.  

If you have taken yourself as far as you can on your own and want someone to teach you the tools you need to grow to your next level, schedule a 20 minute Introductory Chat with me.