The only way to being found is getting lost at first.

- Ira Wolf

I was scrolling through photos on my phone trying to find a certain photo from many years ago. This turned into a sort of trip down memory lane, reliving old memories and evoking many emotions. For those of you who have been following me for a while know that I went through a major life change in 2018. I effectively blew up my life: split up from a 18 year marriage, closed my practice, moved to a new state away from friends, family, and everything I have ever known to start completely over. As I’m scrolling through pre-2018 photos it’s as if I’m looking at photos of someone else’s life while also being intimately aware of her headspace and feelings at that time. I’m looking at photos of “2017 Me” - how sure she was of everything, just turning 40 and feeling the most comfortable she ever had in her own skin - and cringing because I know the train wreck that she’s heading toward. 

Was it painful? YUP! The most pain I’ve ever experienced in my life.

Was it scary? Fuck yeah. Terrifying.

Do I wish it never happened? Absolutely not. It had to happen. And it had to happen the way it did.

Despite the turmoil I have no regrets. I have moments where I wish I handled things differently, but at that time I didn’t have the tools to know how to do that. Since then I have done the work to avoid carrying my old self in to my new life, ultimately making me a better and stronger person. I had to go through all of that to get to here. 

If you’re feeling like you are at an impasse or like your world is upside-down I encourage you to lean in knowing that this is part of the human experience. As my coach puts it: Discomfort is the currency to your dreams. 

Primally we are wired to avoid discomfort, but this no longer serves us in our modern world. Whether we are trying to implement something new in our practice or contemplating an entire life change our brains will tell us to run. Any inkling of anxiousness our brain tell us to reach for the wine. 

The next time you’re at a place of discomfort, instead of scrambling to change it try sitting with it, acknowledge it, normalize it, and then ask yourself “What is this trying to tell me? Where is this trying to lead me?”

And then decide if feeling this discomfort is worth going through in order to get to where you want to be.