The Privilege of Doing Hard Things
Despite growing up as an athlete, having an undergrad degree in Exercise Science, running the Boston marathon, and believing in the health benefits of regular exercise… I have kind of always hated working out. Pushing yourself voluntarily to do something hard and taxing pretty much goes against all of our primal instincts. We are wired, first and foremost, for survival. So it’s against our nature to expend calories toward anything that isn’t pertinent to our immediate survival. It’s why we never see animals going for a long jog for the heck of it.
At any given moment when I’m working out I’m thinking of ways to cut the workout short or make it easier. When it starts to feel hard I’ll try to push myself by saying things like:
Don’t be a lazy shit and quit.
Move your fat ass.
Gotta make up for eating like an a-hole.
I grew up in a time when teachers thought that shame and public embarrassment was a good motivator for children. And I also grew up as a gymnast which means I was literally judged and relied on scores for motivation and validation. So being hard on myself has historically been my go-to fuel to get things done. After a lot of coaching I have discovered that kind of fuel doesn’t serve me at all. In fact it has the opposite effect. When I say all of the above to myself during a workout it feels like a never-ending slog that can’t end soon enough. So it’s no wonder I have always hated working out.
Lately I have been trying on different thoughts to help me through workouts. One of my current favorites is:
My body is strong and I have the privilege of doing hard things.
This shift in thought generates a feeling of gratitude rather than shame. Because many people don’t have the choice to do hard things for the sake of bettering themselves. The workout actually becomes fun. I focus on the action itself instead of being wrapped up in the results. And I actually look forward to my next workout because I want to see what else I’m capable of.
Your actions are driven by your emotions. So if the emotional fuel you are using to work and build your practice is fear, inadequacy, frustration, greed, or scarcity then you’re going to deplete and burn yourself out. You may get results, but at what cost to your mental health, your personal life, and your relationship with yourself?
ACTION STEP:
Take a moment to identify the emotions and stories you tell yourself to get hard things done. Then look at the results you are getting and get curious about other possible ways you can fuel yourself to take action to achieve the same results or better.