What’s Wrong With Me??

When we aren’t able to do something or can’t seem to muster up the energy or the will to do what we need in order to take action a default question we ask ourselves is “What is wrong with me?”.

It seems innocuous enough. We often couch it in humorous self-deprecation, but in reality this kind of thinking doesn’t serve us. And over time it can become habitual thinking and possibly toxic.

Our thoughts generate our feelings. And our feelings drive our actions that lead to our results. “What is wrong with me?” is a thought that is oozing with self-judgment. When you aren’t able to do something successfully you’re making it mean that you’re defective. Telling yourself that you’re defective isn’t exactly the best fuel for taking positive or useful actions. Asking yourself “what is wrong with me” will not motivate you to do better. It will actually have the opposite result.

When you ask yourself negative questions you will give yourself negative answers:

“I suck.”

“I’m not good at this.”

“I’m lazy.”

“Just do it you idiot!”

Sound familiar? 🙋🏻‍♀️

The feelings or emotions you generate from those thoughts are not the kind that drive you to take action. So what to do instead? First, acknowledge that is your brain just doing silly brain things and there’s nothing wrong with that or you. Next is to question the question. Some examples:

“What is this thought here to teach me or tell me?”

“Is this kind of thinking coming up as a reminder of how much I have grown?”

Trying to force action by way of self-judgement will only burn you out. Reframing from a place of self-judgment and disappointment to being curious takes the power away from those negative thoughts and emotions. You can then start over from a place that actually serves you.